Start a day without a To Do list and it will end it disaster. Take yesterday for example. I woke up at 10am, sat up and played Tetris on my iPhone for 20 minutes. This has become part of my morning routine (healthier than a breakfast of Red Bull and cigarettes, less healthy than a morning jog), I use it as an indicator for how productive my day will be. This morning I nearly beat my high score, yesterday I didn’t even come close.
I dragged myself out of bed and looked at the washing up I had left in the kitchen sink. There was a fat fly buzzing around it. I closed the kitchen door and sat on the sofa. We have a TV but can’t get any channels, so I watched the mind-numbing Transformers DVD we had hired out the night before. The film finished and I looked at the time. It was 12:47 and I was sitting in my pyjamas on our donated sofa, my stomach rumbling with hunger. Oh fuck, I thought, I need to get a job.
I spent the next five hours until my other half came home sending out two job applications and calling a recruitment agency to ask if they’ve got any temping work for me. When The Boy did finally get home after a gruelling day of physical labour, he was presented with a homely picture of yours truly taking the washing off the line while dinner bubbled on the stove. A brilliant façade? Nope, it was a terribly ill thought out façade that was shattered after only slight examination.
He walked in and told me dinner smells nice, I thanked him from the bedroom where I was folding his underpants. Things stated to unravel when he walked into the living room and saw I hadn’t taken the DVDs back. He held up the offending boxes with a smile – these are due back today. I told him I wanted us to go together so we could choose another film. Phew.
Are you wearing my tracksuit trousers? I glanced down at my legs – a sure sign that I had not left the flat all day. I sniffed a yes and muttered something about needing to buy some of my own. Does that mean you haven’t posted that letter? What letter? The one I asked you to post. No I haven’t posted it. And did you get round to registering the Flybuys card? Uhh, no.
The truth was that I had completely forgotten that I needed to do any of these things and being spoken to as if I was a lazy housewife was staring to make my blood a couple of degrees warmer.
He raised his patriarchal eyebrows and turned to go to the bathroom where I could hear his voice echoing around the faux marble walls that I had forgotten to hang the bath mat up to dry after my shower. Then he examined the washing machine and noticed I had not yet hung his work clothes up to dry, which followed by the chilling sound of echoing expletives.
We hired a DVD without giving it much thought and ended the evening watching a tense Russian film about two men working on an isolated weather station. The film finished, he hung his clothes up to dry and we went to sleep without talking.
Today’s To Do List:
- Post letter
- Register Flybuys card
- Return DVD
- Apply for jobs
- Write blog
I’m working my way through it from the bottom up.
