There are several things you must consider. Today I will be focusing on the most obvious thing to bear in mind; most people worth going on a date with will agree that the best film of all time is Wayne's World. But don't go blurting it out if you don't have the technical knowledge to back it up. Make sure you're well versed and familiar with Wayne's World quotes before meeting anyone you're trying to impress (this may include at job interviews, meeting someone’s parents, school reunions and T.V. appearances). Here's a comprehensive list of quotes and explanations of appropriate scenarios for which they may be used.
1. Excellent
This one is a stable classic, but is also difficult to get right. You must make sure you're using the correct tone of voice, otherwise it will fall flat and you'll run the risk of embarrassing yourself, especially if your date mistakenly thinks you're attempting a Mr. Burns impression.
2. Sha-wing
You mustn't use this on anyone other than your date because it means you think someone else is a babe, and only psychohosebeasts try to make their date jealous. Here's a good example of a time it can be used in conversation:
Your date - "I love your hair, it smells great!"
You - "And you get my highest rating on the sha-wing-omitor. Shaaaaa-wing"
As you say shaaaa-wing, it may be accompanied with the traditional hip thrust, but only if you're sitting down and have some space (I recommend at least 1m square) to perform the manoeuvre without knocking anything over.
There are many other ways of complimenting your date on their appearance whilst continuing to impress with your Wayne's World knowledge, here are a handful of suggestions:
- you tested very high on the stroke-ability scale
- you're magically babelicious
- if you were a president you'd be Baberaham Lincoln
- you're a robobabe
You may and should use this in place of saying "excuse me? I beg your pardon", but do make sure it's only used to feign shock in order to flatter your date. Here's how a good conversation would go:
Your date - "I had a gym membership but I quit because I never used it"
You - "Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder? With that body I assumed you were pumping iron all day long!"
It's not a bad idea to cup your ear, imitating Wayne's delivery. Like so:
4. Are you mental? Get the net!
This was used in the film by Wayne to Stacy, so be careful how you use it. You don't want to offend your date by putting them in the same pigeon hole as a psychohosebeast. It can be used in a playful way, ideally whilst flicking your hair and squeezing your dates arm a little.
5. Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers were coming here as early as the late 1600's to trade with the Native Americans.
This is a tricky one and should NOT be attempted if you haven't done your homework and memorised it word-for-word, but when it's pulled off well it's spectacular! You better have your fancy knickers on because it's guaranteed to have your date gagging for you.
This quote gets you double points because it's taken from the mouth of Alice Cooper. I recommend it as a response to the question "Do you come here often?"
I think that's enough to get you going. It's a good idea to watch the film once before your date, the benefits of this are two-fold: 1) it will refresh your knowledge of Wayne's World and 2) it will relax you.
Okbye.
